A New Adventure Begins...

Let me start from the beginning...well, my beginning.  The information I plan to share will all be from my perspective and the experiences that I go through on my journey as a potential Gestational Carrier (GC) for my sister and her husband.  

May 2022

About a year ago, I offered to host/develop an embryo...more specifically my nephew, for nine months as he grows and matures enough to be born into this world!  I won't go into the specifics as to why this was a need, since that's not MY story, but I will share my experiences and my thought process as I progress on this unique journey!

I have been blessed with having six children, all relatively uncomplicated and easy pregnancies, so the thought of becoming a GC for my sister and her husband, wasn't something I really struggled with.  I immediately turned to online resources, where I listened to podcasts from fertility doctors, read stories of successful and unsuccessful GC journeys, and talked to my husband about it all.  Although there are some crazy stories out there - nothing really made me regret or second guess my offer.

After doing what I consider a decent amount of research and understanding that becoming a GC wasn't even a guarantee, since there would be loads of tests to determine if I was even a viable candidate, we decided to move forward. 

Okay - so the next few weeks went about as I expected.  The four of us had a virtual meeting with the doctor, letting him know that I have offered to be their GC.  During that appointment, the doctor let me know that his office would be requesting delivery records and pregnancy history and asked me to sign release forms over he also mentioned that we would all need to meet with a legal team to discuss both of our rights and to ensure I understood what I was agreeing too.  I don't remember the specifics, but the overall gist was that the entire process would take about 3 months or so.  I remember thinking that there was a possibility of having the transfer take place in August 2022! (I literally just laughed a little out loud...because that's funny looking back!)  

So the first thing that happened - which I didn't account for was...medical records are only kept for 10 years - tops!  Since my youngest child was 13 (you can see where this is going) my OB's office was unable to provide ANY pregnancy records.  <Palm to forehead>  I thought this was going to be the EASY part?!  

I'll spare you the details, but due to a lack in communication, the next 60 days were spent waiting for paperwork, that no longer exists. Womp womp... 

July 2022

In July, my husband and I were able to have a virtual appointment with the doctor in lieu of these records.  We were both able to talk to him on video, provide the answers to his questions, and ultimately he approved us to move forward with the process.  

His office called me within the next week and stated that the next step to moving forward was to have results from a routine gynecology exam and PAP submitted to them.  Things happen, offices go on vacation, no one wants to work the last few weeks of summer...bing bodda boom...my appointment is now pushed into September.

September 2022

I have my physical exam and PAP completed and request that the results be sent to the fertility clinic.  We are then notified, that we cannot move forward until we are cleared by a psychologist!  Yes, you read that correctly.  They said in order to proceed, (we must be really close now!) all four of us would need to be interviewed by a psychologist to be cleared for the journey.  They recommended a doctor and of course the soonest we could be seen was the end of October.  Yes - we are now to October.

October 2022

We met with the psychologist, who was pleasant and asked us a barrage of questions and provided some input and scenarios that we hadn't really thought of as a group.  Then she asked to meet with just my husband I.  Up to this point - I felt like I was going about this with the right mentality and approach, but it wasn't until AFTER our meeting, that I was reassured!  It's a huge decision and as annoyed as I was in the beginning to have to meet with her, I am really glad we went through it.  One of the many questions she asked, is a common one that I am asked...How are you going to be able to give this baby up?  

For me, the answer is pretty darn simple.  First, it's not my baby.  I'm hosting this baby for his parents!  The difference between a Surrogate and a Gestational Carrier is that a Surrogate uses her egg.  The baby is partially comprised of her DNA.  A GC, is just a host.  Biologically, this baby is related to me, but it is not my child.  This is the offspring of my sister and her husband.  Second, I'm a grandmother!  My husband and I are enjoying this next phase in both of our lives where our children are now having children.  We aren't looking to start over and my baby 'hunger' is satisfied by holding my grandbabies!

Okay so now it's November...

November 2022

This was on me...I started a new job, had a lot of traveling, and of course Thanksgiving!  Since the next set of tests needed (yes, there's more) involved having an ultrasound completed on a specific day in my cycle, November was out.

December 2022

Although December fills up quickly, I was able to complete the ultrasound and blood tests required for the next phase!  Step 1...ultrasound to determine my uterus was an acceptable home.  (If you're wondering if this should have been completed back in um...May or June, I was wondering the same thing!)

Anyway test completed...and I passed!  Wasn't sure what a scan would reveal...it's been a long while since anyone has occupied the space ;)  So it was reassuring that my uterus was clear and large enough to carry a baby.

The next steps were to pass the barrage of tests requested, including STD tests for my husband and I both to take.  Yes, even after 24 1/2 years of marriage, I guess you can never be too sure haha;)  My husband was a good sport and as funny as it was to wait for the results of an STD test, we weren't shocked when his tests came back clear.  

I can't tell you all the tests that were ordered, (because frankly, it was a lot) but I can tell you the tests of mine, where I missed the mark.  The tests I came back low on were my thyroid (TSH) level and my vitamin D level.

A simple fix was ordered, I was prescribed a low dose of Levothyroxine for my thyroid (re-checked in 6 weeks) and was asked to pick up some vitamin D pills to get me into optimal range.

January 2023

My thyroid levels had come down into "normal" range, but not the optimal range for pregnancy.  A higher dose of Levothyroxine was prescribed and I was told to sit tight for another 6 weeks to be retested.

February 2023

Although nothing related to fertility happened in February, a lot happened in our personal life.  Our third child became engaged, with a wedding date in June, we signed on a new construction home, that would be about 10-12 months out, and my oldest daughter, her husband, and two children would be moving back to Arizona!  There is a reason I'm sharing all of this...hold tight

March 2023

My thyroid levels were retested in March and my results were finally within optimal range for pregnancy!  Now there was some additional legal paperwork that needed to be completed by my sister and her husband, but once this had been completed, they were ready for me to tell them when my next cycle started.

April 2023

I celebrated my 44th birthday, we put our home up for sale, and secured a rental home nearby so that we could move the majority of our things and so the house could remain empty for showings.  As if the stress of moving wasn't enough, I also received a job offer that I couldn't refuse and accepted to begin in May. (Put this together with the prior February details...starting to get the picture?)

So now, I'm still waiting for the all clear from the fertility clinic and waiting for my cycle to begin...crickets.  Nothing.  You know, I should be jumping for joy...but of course, all I'm thinking is great, I'm going to be the reason this is getting pushed back even further!  So apparently large amounts of stress does things to us...it not only impacts our moods and appetites, it wreaks havoc on cycles too!  So no cycle in April.

May 2023

I reach out to the fertility clinic and they relay they have what they need to move forward and ask me to let them know when I start my next cycle.  They told me once I start, I will be prescribed birth control for 10 days to put me on a cycle that will work for them.  Well...at this point, I'm thinking what if I don't ever have a cycle again?  I'm not willing to take that chance, soooo I tell a little fib.  I decide that my cycle has started, I mean, it still could...but I tell them it did.  Three days after I start my fictitious cycle, I started birth control.  I took the pills as prescribed for the 10 days, just like I was asked and ended taking them on May 28th.

June 2023

Okay it's been a very long while since I've taken birth control (husband had a vasectomy after the conception of our sixth child) so my memory is a little fuzzy about when you're supposed to start your cycle after missing a pill, but I thought it was within 2-3 days.  So I wait, day 1, day 2, day 3,...finally on day 7 of being off of the pill...my cycle actually starts!  

It was a Sunday, so wasn't able to contact the fertility clinic until Monday. Well you would think that none of them would be surprised that this was happening.  I mean after all, they had no clue that I'd missed basically two months of cycling and they are the ones who told me when to stop taking the birth control, so if anything they should be waiting for my call, right? Well, not the case...somehow they missed prescribing me the estrogen tablets that I would be required to take on cycle day 2 (which was now)! So there was a mad scramble to send pills to my pharmacy...which of course didn't have them in!  So I had to pharmacy shop until I found them in stock.  (Check out the pharmacy post, if you'd like to hear more details!)

We are almost getting to present time!  So let's take a moment to recap....It's now June 5th, over a year since this journey began.  I am having the mother of all cycles, running around trying to secure my prescription of estrogen, and my daughter is getting sealed in the Phoenix LDS temple on Friday, June 9th and having a ring ceremony/reception on Saturday, June 10th! Lots of fun details to attend to!

Well I'm excited to share what transpires over the next few weeks/months with you...I'm very long winded, but if you're interested in what's going on...stay tuned for more!

Summer