Over before it began ...

All the waiting was so suspenseful!  Each day, you get different symptoms and feelings that remind you of how you felt when you were pregnant...so it's so hard to know what you're feeling?!  Is it a placebo or is my body responding to one or possibly two new additions?

Each morning I read and read more...some people tested positive after just 3 days from peeing on a stick and others didn't test positive until they got their blood drawn 10 days after transfer.

So beginning Friday, I began peeing on a stick.  Negative.  

Saturday, Negative.

Sunday, Negative.

Monday I was hopeful, since it has now been a full week since transfer... Negative.

Tuesday, Negative.  Tuesday was when I began coming to the realization that this might not be happening.  I am trying not to read into things or get too discouraged...but I really have come so far and have done everything exactly as I'm supposed to!  Made sure we were home in time for shots and didn't even travel for our milestone anniversary...I really wanted to be able to provide at least one baby to add to my sister and her family.

Wednesday, Negative.  

Thursday...the morning of my blood work!  Could it be?  Maybe the implantation just took longer than normal...will today be the day?!  Negative

So I send my sister and her husband a preparatory text message letting them know that I tested negative this morning so blood work might not be positive either.  I wish I had better news to share😭.

I went to my appointment (which was just a blood draw) and was met by my wonderful, adoring husband in the parking lot!  He surprised me and showed up with Crumbl cookies!❤️ He waited the short 5 minutes with me in the waiting room and then took me to lunch.

I think they save the bad news for last...at 4:30pm, I finally receive a call from the clinic.  Oh boy, it's a good thing I think I already knew in my heart I wasn't expecting.  So when the lady on the other end, in her super chipper voice asks, 'Are you ready for your results?!' I don't immediately jump to a positive result.  I mean...I did suddenly think, did one stick?? 

So I respond, 'Yes!' and am met with a...

"Your HCG results were less than .05, which is considered negative for pregnancy.  I'm so sorry Hon."

I wasn't shocked...although her voice and delivery sure did make me second guess things (she should work on that).  Before she jumps off, I ask what now?

She seemed taken aback by the question...but honestly, what happens now?  She said, 'Oh, you can stop taking all medication, like estrogen and shots immediately.  You should start your cycle within 10 days and you can reach out to the office if you are interested in doing another cycle.'

Okay so there it is!  Over a year of preparation...15 days of shots and estrogen, a transfer, and 10 long days of waiting...these two little embryos for what ever reason didn't attach.  I truly believe that whatever is meant to happen, will happen...that there was a reason these little embryos didn't implant.  

So, I'm preparing for the next 10 days as I come off of all this estrogen and progesterone.  From what I've read, I may have some nausea, headaches, and mood swings.  (Great). They also mentioned that this period would be heavier than normal and I might experience more cramping than normal, since my lining was made to become so thick.

P.S. I have no idea whether I will be pursuing another transfer or not since this isn't my decision to make...so for now I will take each day at a time😊

Wish me luck...I hope it all goes smoothly 🤞❤️.

25 Years...plus 2!

So now that the transfer of the two embryos is complete, I'm supposed to just resume my normal activities until next Thursday, when they draw my blood to check for HcG.  Well they actually told me to keep it at 85% of normal today, but I can resume to normal beginning tomorrow.  

Luckily for me...I think my 100% is other peoples 50% haha.  I usually work from home, but my boss happens to be in town this week, so in to work I will go!  (It also happens to be our 25th wedding anniversary today...so my favorite Grimaldi's for dinner and See's Candies for dessert, can't wait!❤️)

I will still need to take Levoxyl in the morning, two pills of estrogen, three times a day, and get my daily PIO shot at 9pm...but other than that try not to think about whether the next 8 months is going to be filled with firsts or will they be filled with nothing at all?  Honestly, I feel positive about it.  The transfer, although rough at first, ended with success!

I feel a little like I was kicked in the crotch last night and maybe like I'm going to start my period all at the same time.  No cramping though and no blood, so all is good so far!

Transfer Day!

The day of the transfer has finally arrived!  Crazy that it's taken a little over a year to get to this point!  Looking back, so much has had to happen to get us to this point...yet it seems like the time has flown by somehow?!

My transfer appointment was scheduled for 12:40pm and the office offers acupuncture both before and after to assist with relaxation, so my actual arrival time needed to be 11:40am. 

They provide some instructions that tell you to wear a "comfy shirt" and to bring socks for the transfer.  They also instruct you to drink 32oz of room temperature water after my arrival and before the transfer.  

Okay first things first...do I wear a dress?  Do I wear a shirt and leggings?  What's up with the comfy shirt thing?  I finally decide that the acupuncture will probably be similar to a massage and maybe make ya strip to your under bits...(I really didn't do much research on acupuncture before I arrived) and figured I'd probably be in a gown for the transfer so...LuLu Lemon leggings and a comfy shirt it was!

I arrive on time with my husband and promptly use the restroom as I'm instructed to do.  The acupuncturist came out very shortly thereafter to welcome me back.  I asked if there was another waiting room for my husband to be closer and she said he was welcomed to join me in the room for acupuncture!  Sweet, come on back babes!😜🥰

She welcomes me into this room, which has wall to ceiling windows and a beautiful view of the Gilbert Temple!  I was so enamored with the view that it took me a minute to notice there wasn't a bed or a table...but instead a reclining type chair covered in large pads...(the kind that you typically have under your bum after delivery).

She instructs me to sit down and take off my shoes.  As she talking to me about...who knows what I suddenly feel a small ping of pain right on the top of my head, I look over and she seems to be just going through her items like nothing happened...so I thought weird I wonder where she's going to stick these thi...(ping, ouch) I guess my ears were next!

It wasn't a lot of pain, but like a quick twinge or sting then it immediately went away.  Except for my ears...I pretty much always felt those ones (3 in each ear).

Okay so now the fun part.  She asks me to lift up my pants so that my shins could be exposed.  (Remember I'm wearing LuLu leggings...which are meant to suck you in) I reach down and do my best not to create a tourniquet under my knees folding my leggings up.

I barely felt the ones placed in my shins or toes, then she asks me to pull up my shirt and expose the part of my stomach between my belly button and my pubic bone.  (I've had a lot of kids...this is the part I call my apron aka FUPA and remember what LuLu Leggings are intended to do?  Make that part look better by disguising it!)

So I look at her blankly as I'm trying to think of a way to do this without losing circulation to my entire lower half 🤣 and without looking like a stuffed sausage!  Well after a few seconds I realized I didn't have many options...now that the needles are already in my feet and legs.  So I pulllllll down on the leggings and as expected the sausage like tummy spilled out of it.  I could only imagine what her view of me was! Haha my view wasn't good and I could only see from a downward angle...which I'm very sure was better than an upward one😜!  (I feel like I kinda gave up my dignity years ago with the delivery of my large babies...so it is what it is at this point.) Meanwhile, she's sticking six needles in the fun part of my tummy and asking me to continue drinking my water.  (Which is NOT room temperature, nor 32 ozs, but got the job done.)

After she finishes inserting the remaining needle, she covers me in one of those first aid type thermal blankets...aka a foil wrap and lets me know that she will be back, ten minutes before my procedure.  Wow- that's it?  She just sticks needles in and leaves?  Yes.  Apparently that is exactly what she did.  (I think this is absolutely normal for acupuncture. I was just unprepared and thinking of her massaging my neck or something while the needles were in...which would have been a-ok with me!)

Okay so now what?  I immediately begin to hear my stomach growl...(I guess that's a sign that it's working actually) I didn't even realize I was hungry.  So I kind of start to stare off and before I know it, I'm being awoken by the acupuncturist letting me know my sister and her family were outside in the waiting room and wanted to know if I was up for visitors.  Children aren't allowed back, but I let her know that both my sister and her husband were invited to come back with us - as long as they knew I was wrapped up like a sushi roll - toothpicks and all!

So she leaves and now it's been a solid 40 minutes since I've been laying here and my bladder is really beginning to let me know it's full.  My sister and her husband come back and chat for a bit and soon I'm realizing that it's passed the time the acupuncturist said she would be back!  My bladder is READY for this transfer to take place like...NOW.

A few minutes later, she returns and apologizes for the delay.  She asks me if my bladder is full and I don't even let her finish her sentence before blurting out YES!  I'm ready.  She smiles and says okay - that was the reason for the delay.  The woman before me didn't have a full bladder and they had to wait for it to fill.  So I assured her, we would be good.  She quickly took out the needles and then provided me a gown, head covering, and booties to put on.  She asked if I would be having a partner in the room with me and I said yes, so she handed them all booties and hair coverings also.  (The clinic was super accommodating and allowed both my sister and her husband to join us in the transfer room.)

So I walk in and lay down on the table, putting my legs into the stirrups (similar to a PAP exam).  I immediatly tell her that my bladder is ooober full.  After a quick check, she agrees and then yells "Ready!" at a decible that completely conflicted with the reverent experience thus far! 🤣

Okay so I would say the transfer experience should  be similar to a PAP...except apparently I have what is called a "high cervix" and "they don't make speculums long enough to reach my height of cervix".  (I'm not sure why I've never had a problem with having my regular GYN scraping my cervix for a PAP?!) Yet these are some of the things I heard while the doctor is digging around inside me, with a nurse pushing down on top of my tummy and full bladder with an ultrasound!  To say it was uncomfortable, would be an understatement.  I kept apologizing because I was truly in fear that I would not be able to control my bladder much longer.  (I mean, let's be real...having six children vaginally has not done me any favors in the muscle department downstairs.). The whole process was  bearable, but uncomfortable.  The doctor at one point was concerned he wouldn't be able to put the catheter into my uterus successfully so he asked for all recording to stop.  I felt kinda bad - like there was something I could have done to make my cervix lower or something?  (All my babies were high, I never dropped with any pregnancies...my doctors were never bothered about it though...maybe they just hid it better than this guy?)

Anyway after what seemed like an hour (probably more like 10-15 minutes) he found the place he needed to be and then proceeds to yell "READY"!  (Like in Austin Powers when the lady yells for her son, "SCOTT!")

A door in the back opens and a nurse quickly comes in announcing the genders of the two embryo's they will be implanting and the last name of the mother and the last name of the patient, which was me😊!

He lets the room know that they can begin recording once again and draws the attention to the screen where you can see a small flash of light as the two embryo's are released within my uterus in a small bubble of air!  It was pretty amazing to watch.  He quickly withdrew the catheter and explained that it was a success...he was able to release them high into my uterus and the rest was up to my body.

Small white spot on the top of the 

He left and I was immediately able to go relieve myself in the bathroom..phew!  I really did impress myself with my ability to hold it in!!🥳. (As you can see, I like to celebrate small wins!)

Now we wait....they said the blood test is scheduled for June 29th!

Shots in the Wild!

Okay, so today is day 5 of the Progesterone in Oil (PIO) shots and by now we have a rhythm going on.  At home, it's an easy routine.  I have decided laying down flat on my bed, face down, works the best.

As I talked about earlier, the shots gave me a lot of anxiety, so I researched and heard a ton of horror stories, but I also got some good tips too!  My main concern was pain, of course.  Which some experienced at the time of the shot, but others seem to experience after the shot.  As the PIO is being absorbed into the muscle, it can create a knot, which becomes painful.  (After literally hundreds of personal stories, posts, websites, etc...I noticed a few common themes to avoid this.)

First, make sure you're not using the muscle that it's being shot into.  If you have to stand, bend the knee of the side you're going to inject.  I took it a step further and decided to just avoid using either muscle period, so I lie down flat to avoid any flinching ;)

Second, heat the oil up by first putting it in the crease of your arm or arm pit.  It thins the oil out just enough to make it easier to inject.

Okay so...this all plays out great when we are home and I get to lie down on my comfy bed for the shot.  We knew there was going to come an evening when we wouldn't be home...and would have to do the shots somewhere else and that day finally came.

It was father's day and also one of our girl's birthday.  She decided around 7pm that she'd like to celebrate with the family at Pop Stroke, a new mini golf place about, about 20 minutes away.

We have been there before and based on how crowded it is, it can take up to a few hours to complete the two courses they had.  I mentioned that we might have to leave early because I would need to leave around 8:40 to get home in time for my shot, which didn't sit well with the birthday girl, because that meant we wouldn't be able to finish the course and if I left, the party would be over. ( I knew she was referring to me physically taking half the party with me when I left but if course acted completely flattered that I was the glue to this party 🥳.)

So agreeing with her that the party would be lame after I left...I reluctantly agreed to bring my shot paraphernalia with me. Ugh.

Okay so fast forward a few hours, it's a Sunday evening, see the course is popping... literally packed with people.  We have only made it to the 11th hole and it's 8:55.  So Phil and I let the group know we will be back, hand our clubs to the others and head out to the packed parking lot to his car.  (If you've been to this place, you know there is no easy exit from mid course!  We were walking across greens, apologizing to parties as I was praying I wouldn't eat it.)

After we made it out of the course and into the parking lot, to our car.  I suddenly realized that laying face down in the back seat, with Phil bent over on top of me...might not be the best look out in public!  I really hadn't thought it through!

So I share my concerns with Phil and he also agrees this might be more difficult than we thought.  I could lean up against his car outside...but then again he's behind me doing something to my upper behind area...and this is only for people far away!  Let's not count the fact that if anyone was getting into their car or sitting close by, they would see us with the needle, probably looking like some weird junkies!🥴

Okay, okay...think Summer!  Where can we go, we are out of time and I have to get this shot!

I look around and behind me there's a restaurant that's closed for renovations and it has two large container sizes dumpsters outside of it.  The sides of course are open with cars able to view us, but it was darker ish and I didn't see any cameras outside or signs of life inside, so Phil offered to back the car in between these dumpsters to give me more privacy and allow me to lay down in the back seat.

(Ok imagine it being dark...with all parking spaces full...so you can visualize)

Okay so plan is in motion...I'm laying down, trying to relax.  I hear a car start up close by and suddenly I feel something crawling on my feet (because I was wearing sandals and my feet were still touching the ground ew)...Phil is still getting used to giving the shot as much as I am at receiving it and he's hesitating and triple checking he's in the right spot.  So he finally injects me, but I can't stay still any longer, my imagination has gone wild and I could be standing on an ant hill with soon to be thousands of crawly bugs all over me...so I lift up my legs (using the muscles that are supposed to be relaxed ouch).  He finishes the injection (which takes a bit, because it's thick and doesn't come out super quick) and I crawl back out of the car.  

As I stand up fixing my clothes I immediately notice the car, idling with its lights on, perpendicular to us.  (Hand to forehead) I'm sure trying to figure out what in the junky heck we were doing!

Phil's trying to find the needle cover (since I forgot my "sharps" container) and I'm inspecting my legs and feet to ensure there aren't a ton of bugs crawling on me.🥴 I was relieved to know that there didn't seem to be any bugs on me anymore...(the spazzy leg lift did the trick!)

Phil moved the car back away from the dumpsters into our original parking spot and we rejoined the others taking a route...similar to our exit.  We only missed four holes and the police were never called on us...so it was a win in my book!

Although the scenario wasn't ideal...we learned a few things and we laughed a ton.  Happy Father's Day Phil❤️.

It Takes Two...

When I originally offered to become a GC I let them know that I was willing to accept a transfer of up to two embryos.  (Based on my history of carrying multiple large babies, to full term 11lbs 4 oz, 10lbs 2 oz being the two largest of my six)

At the time, it was decided by the intended parents that only one embryo would be transferred.  Again, since this is focusing on MY part of the story, I will leave out the details and reasons why, but I'm sure you can think of some of the reasons why intended parents might have some trepidation about having multiple embryos implanted.  

So, fast forward to the week prior to transfer day.  There's a load of paperwork, with a calendar and instructions for medications required, and the times at which they must be taken or injected (1Mg Estrogen 2 pills x 3 times daily, 2 CC's of Progesterone in Oil injected at 9pm daily, and an antibiotic 2 pills daily, to begin five days prior to transfer.) And there is an additional FET consent form that I must return, two days prior to the transfer, which must be either witnessed by their office staff (virtually or physically) or notorized. 

I decided the easiest option was to have a telemedicine appointment with a nurse from the fertility clinic.  The appointment was relatively straight forward, there's three - four places I am required to fill out and then sign.  She tells me what to say for each portion, except the section asking how many embryos are going to be transferred.  She asked me how many embryos are going to be transferred?  I responded I think one was discussed originally, but perhaps things have changed or they might want to add another, so I will accept up to two.  The nurse said, I couldn't say up to two, I had to match the exact number that they were transferring.  Okay, so after a quick confirmation text, I placed the number one next to the amount of embryos and signed the consent.  The nurse asked me to take a photo and send it to the office using their messaging app and to sit tight!  Once they received the FET consent form from the parents we were good to go!

As it sometimes happens right before a huge decision prayers are answered and you don't always get to pick the timing of the answers you receive.  So...I receive a call on Friday (right before the fertility clinic closes) sharing some personal insight received and asking if I would be willing to accept two embryos instead of just one.  For me, it was an easy response, "yes." 

I'm sure there are a ton of things I should be worried about, personally, but the only thing that continues to be my primary concern is having the embryo stick, so it becomes an actual pregnancy.  My hope was that increasing the amount of embryos, would increase their odds of having a baby!  Yes, of course there is a very real chance of both sticking, which I completely understand and still agreed to, but was excited to increase their odds of adding to their family.

Okay so now the new number...how do we go about changing the paperwork at the last hour?  You re-print out the paperwork, find a notary and hopefully get a hold of the fertility clinic before they prepare for the transfer, Monday morning!

With some prayers we were able to find an available notary, quickly and submit the updated paperwork to the closed office...and waited anxiously for a response.  It took over 24 hours, but someone from their staff responded on Saturday and let us know that the change had been accepted and two embryos would be transferred on Monday ❤️.

Let's do shots...

So today's the day...the day I start the dreaded Progesterone shots.  I'll start today and will need to continue until I'm 12 weeks along.

I'm not gonna lie - the thought of having a 1.5" needle stuck into the upper part of my A$$ doesn't sound exciting.  Part of the deal was that my sister would be the one giving me the injections.  What we didn't anticipate was that she would be traveling a majority of the summer, so last minute we ordered an auto-injector, so I could give myself the shots - but unfortunately it's not in yet!  Everyone in my family has a serious needle phobia, so it took a lot of coaxing, but my husband graciously agreed to try and give me the injection tonight.

These shots are required every single day, at the same time for 12 weeks!  I have to take them at 9PM every night and cannot go over 24 hours.  So if I need to push the time back, it needs to be in 15 minute intervals.  I'm not sure if there is ever an ideal time to get a shot in your behind...

**9PM SHOT TIME**

Okay, so the alarms went off and we started to fumble through this new process.  We grabbed both needles, (the 18G for drawing the progesterone in oil out of the vial and the 22G for injecting it into my booty) the alcohol prep pads, and my tide pod container, which hence forth will be known as my 'sharps' container.

All day, I've replayed how the shot would feel, (ouch) watched the video they sent a few times, and tried to do my best about how quickly it would be over.  I used a compilation of tips...held the progesterone in oil under my arm, to warm it up and decided that my optimal position would be to lie flat on the bed, bunny side up, so there would be NO muscles in use at the time of the injection :)

Phil washed his hands and I prepped the injection needle, even tapped it to get the air bubbles out and pushed until a drop came out the top!  So satisfying...okay back to the task at hand.  I laid down, Phil prepped the location he was going to inject and then proceeded to count down from 3...about three times before he actually jabbed me! hahaha the suspense was killing me! I know he felt it worse than I did!  As soon as he stabbed it in, he started apologizing.  The greatest part was, I actually didn't even feel it go in!  He just chose some random count to use the needle, like a dart to a balloon, and inject me.

Yep - didn't feel a thing!  He was pressing on the skin around it pretty hard with his fingers, so maybe that's the trick?  Not a drop of blood, he was so excited.  It was then that he realized and shared that he was supposed to pull back on the plunger before injecting to make sure he didn't hit any blood vessels, but we both agreed at this point...it was probably fine and went back to high fiving and celebrating the first shot being completed!

A huge sigh of relief, because I really didn't feel a thing.  I mean pressure, but no twinges or stings!  After about a minute, it felt like someone had given me a small charley horse in my bum...but nothing more or worse!  

So...one down, 99(ish) more to go!  Let's hope tomorrow night goes just as smoothly!

Moving on Up!

Three hours later (yes said just like SpongeBob)...I get a text from the fertility clinic.  They let me know that my cyst labs were negative, my progesterone level is like .1 or something really small (great news!)

Shortly thereafter, I get a phone call.  The woman on the phone let me know, that after further review of my ultrasound and lab work, they don't need to see me on Wednesday for a follow-up check after all.   She relayed that my lining is "fluffing up" a little quicker than expected and they would like to see me back on transfer day, which is now only a week away, June 19th!  She told me that I would need to continue the increased dose of Estrogen, as prescribed and begin taking PIO shots beginning Wednesday (June 14th) now instead of beginning on Saturday (June 17th) as originally planned.

Wow!  I love being an over achiever...I'm just not so excited about how these shots are about to go down.  Honestly, I've heard some scary stories!  We ordered an "auto-injector" for the shots...but that isn't set to come until Friday 🫤.  

I'm nervous, anxious, and excited...I'll keep you posted on how Wednesday goes!

Cysts or No Cysts...That is the question!

So last Wednesday (June 7th) I went in for a baseline uterine lining check...as you can imagine it was up there on visits you dread.  (Mid flow using an intravaginal wand...yeah) 

It was here that they provided me all the information about the shots, antibiotics, and the FET consent forms that I would need to add to my routine and complete prior to and through the transfer time.  

Based on my current progress, they estimated that my transfer date would be June 22nd.  I would need to begin taking the PIO shots and antibiotics 5 days before transfer. (Timeline below). They scheduled me for my next lining check on June 12th (the following Monday) and ordered thyroid and cyst labs...I guess to make sure I didn't have cysts?  They weren't super clear as to the reason why on that one.

So fast forward to today's (June 12th) appointment...same song and dance.  This time the woman giving me the ultrasound was concerned about not being able to see both of my ovaries (why is this important? I'm still unclear) and she also mentions a request for a cyst lab to be taken.  

At this time I mention that they were requested last week as part of my blood work...(apparently they missed it and didn't actually draw any for the cysts) and I ask why they are so concerned about cysts?  (Because quite honestly, I'm now starting to become a little freaked out.)

She was kind enough to pause and share that she didn't see any (phew!) but the reason she's concerned about cysts was because they produce progesterone.  If cysts are present, it will make me ovulate before the transfer.  If this happens the transfer will have to be aborted until the following month 😭!  (Which I absolutely do not want to have happen.)

So she directs me to increase my estrogen dosage from two pills, twice a day to two pills, three times a day, beginning tomorrow (uh oh, my pharmacist will be concerned).  She also requests additional blood work to check for progesterone, and says she wants me to come in on Wednesday (June 14th) for a follow up lining check. 

Okay, okay...I complete the blood work and I'm now home hoping I don't have any cysts!🤞

Wish me luck! 🍀

Walmart for the Pharmacy Win?

My family and I have been very fortunate and really haven't spent much time in the pharmacy department.  I have called our CVS pharmacy at Target a few times to get prescriptions filled and utilize their auto fill function...but that's about as far as the transactions go.  They get the order, the script is filled, I get a text letting me know it's ready and available for pick up.  Easy.

Well I guess the things my previous orders have all had in common were...the medications I needed, were not time sensitive.  If they weren't a common prescription, I could easily wait the additional 24-48 hours for them to fill my prescription.

So remember my original post - where I told ya it was a last minute scramble to urgently get a prescription filled and begin taking it as soon as possible?  Well that's where we are.

So I reach out to my CVS pharmacy, someone answers the phone after a long game of pick the number that's closest to what you want, followed by several 0's...in hopes of being transferred to a person.  (The purpose of course for my call, was to find out if they had the medication in stock, that I was prescribed.  Since there was a sense of urgency to this request - I didn't have time to show up and find out it wouldn't be ready for a day or two.)  After a few rings, a gentleman answers (perhaps the pharmacist?) and lets me know that they have the prescription from the doctor's office and will be able to fill it, but will need my updated insurance information.  No problem!  I offered to provide it over the phone and he replied that I should instead just bring it when I come to fill the prescription, which should only take 5-10 minutes.

Feeling confident that the medication would be available, I head down to Target to grab the prescription.  After providing my insurance card and updating my file - I was shocked to learn that they didn't have the medication needed after all!  (I later found that the reason for this was the gentleman on the phone didn't have access to their inventory, only going through the motions.)  Well now what?

Long story, shorter - CVS at Target was unable to direct me to another location or help me further.  So...I hesitated naturally, because Walmart isn't known for their amazing customer service...but they are close to me and perhaps they would have the medicine in stock to fill my prescription.

So I call Walmart's pharmacy department (expecting the worst), I speak with a gentleman who seems very pleasant, I tell him my circumstance and the urgency and he immediately offers to take my insurance information over the phone, checks his inventory, and tells me when I can expect to pick it up.  Even goes the extra mile and tells me when they break for lunch, to avoid further delays!

Within an hour, I get a text letting me know that my prescription was ready to be picked up.  (Amazing!)  When I arrive, the pharmacy tech asks for my name to go grab the medication.  The moment I provide my name, a gentleman in the back, immediately steps forward and stands to the side, awaiting for the transaction to be complete.  As soon as I've paid, he says, "Hi Summer, my name is Omar. I'm the pharmacist here and we spoke on the phone earlier today."  (Wow - maybe the bar is just set soooo low - but I was already totally impressed!

Omar then took me to a side window and asked if I had ever taken the medication before.  He asked because he was concerned about the dosage that I was being prescribed. I, being completely unfamiliar with dosages and knowing mistakes can be made - immediately offered up what I was doing (GC) with an implant date of 6/22.  He asked if I knew how long I would be on the medication, since the dosage they were prescribing was really high.  Of course I didn't - so he asked if I would be okay if he made a call to the doctor's office to ensure the dosage was correct and asked if he could call me on my cell phone, so I didn't have to wait!  

Okay so the story ends with yes - it was the correct dosage, but I truly felt reassured and so much more comfortable about the dosage and the pills I was prescribed for this first part of the adventure.

Side note - I'm now a regular there and Omar greets me with a wave and a smile from behind the counter every single time and whenever there's a new prescription (including my Progesterone in Oil shots), he walks me through the medicine, possible side effects, and makes sure I still have his card to call with ANY questions!

 

A New Adventure Begins...

Let me start from the beginning...well, my beginning.  The information I plan to share will all be from my perspective and the experiences that I go through on my journey as a potential Gestational Carrier (GC) for my sister and her husband.  

May 2022

About a year ago, I offered to host/develop an embryo...more specifically my nephew, for nine months as he grows and matures enough to be born into this world!  I won't go into the specifics as to why this was a need, since that's not MY story, but I will share my experiences and my thought process as I progress on this unique journey!

I have been blessed with having six children, all relatively uncomplicated and easy pregnancies, so the thought of becoming a GC for my sister and her husband, wasn't something I really struggled with.  I immediately turned to online resources, where I listened to podcasts from fertility doctors, read stories of successful and unsuccessful GC journeys, and talked to my husband about it all.  Although there are some crazy stories out there - nothing really made me regret or second guess my offer.

After doing what I consider a decent amount of research and understanding that becoming a GC wasn't even a guarantee, since there would be loads of tests to determine if I was even a viable candidate, we decided to move forward. 

Okay - so the next few weeks went about as I expected.  The four of us had a virtual meeting with the doctor, letting him know that I have offered to be their GC.  During that appointment, the doctor let me know that his office would be requesting delivery records and pregnancy history and asked me to sign release forms over he also mentioned that we would all need to meet with a legal team to discuss both of our rights and to ensure I understood what I was agreeing too.  I don't remember the specifics, but the overall gist was that the entire process would take about 3 months or so.  I remember thinking that there was a possibility of having the transfer take place in August 2022! (I literally just laughed a little out loud...because that's funny looking back!)  

So the first thing that happened - which I didn't account for was...medical records are only kept for 10 years - tops!  Since my youngest child was 13 (you can see where this is going) my OB's office was unable to provide ANY pregnancy records.  <Palm to forehead>  I thought this was going to be the EASY part?!  

I'll spare you the details, but due to a lack in communication, the next 60 days were spent waiting for paperwork, that no longer exists. Womp womp... 

July 2022

In July, my husband and I were able to have a virtual appointment with the doctor in lieu of these records.  We were both able to talk to him on video, provide the answers to his questions, and ultimately he approved us to move forward with the process.  

His office called me within the next week and stated that the next step to moving forward was to have results from a routine gynecology exam and PAP submitted to them.  Things happen, offices go on vacation, no one wants to work the last few weeks of summer...bing bodda boom...my appointment is now pushed into September.

September 2022

I have my physical exam and PAP completed and request that the results be sent to the fertility clinic.  We are then notified, that we cannot move forward until we are cleared by a psychologist!  Yes, you read that correctly.  They said in order to proceed, (we must be really close now!) all four of us would need to be interviewed by a psychologist to be cleared for the journey.  They recommended a doctor and of course the soonest we could be seen was the end of October.  Yes - we are now to October.

October 2022

We met with the psychologist, who was pleasant and asked us a barrage of questions and provided some input and scenarios that we hadn't really thought of as a group.  Then she asked to meet with just my husband I.  Up to this point - I felt like I was going about this with the right mentality and approach, but it wasn't until AFTER our meeting, that I was reassured!  It's a huge decision and as annoyed as I was in the beginning to have to meet with her, I am really glad we went through it.  One of the many questions she asked, is a common one that I am asked...How are you going to be able to give this baby up?  

For me, the answer is pretty darn simple.  First, it's not my baby.  I'm hosting this baby for his parents!  The difference between a Surrogate and a Gestational Carrier is that a Surrogate uses her egg.  The baby is partially comprised of her DNA.  A GC, is just a host.  Biologically, this baby is related to me, but it is not my child.  This is the offspring of my sister and her husband.  Second, I'm a grandmother!  My husband and I are enjoying this next phase in both of our lives where our children are now having children.  We aren't looking to start over and my baby 'hunger' is satisfied by holding my grandbabies!

Okay so now it's November...

November 2022

This was on me...I started a new job, had a lot of traveling, and of course Thanksgiving!  Since the next set of tests needed (yes, there's more) involved having an ultrasound completed on a specific day in my cycle, November was out.

December 2022

Although December fills up quickly, I was able to complete the ultrasound and blood tests required for the next phase!  Step 1...ultrasound to determine my uterus was an acceptable home.  (If you're wondering if this should have been completed back in um...May or June, I was wondering the same thing!)

Anyway test completed...and I passed!  Wasn't sure what a scan would reveal...it's been a long while since anyone has occupied the space ;)  So it was reassuring that my uterus was clear and large enough to carry a baby.

The next steps were to pass the barrage of tests requested, including STD tests for my husband and I both to take.  Yes, even after 24 1/2 years of marriage, I guess you can never be too sure haha;)  My husband was a good sport and as funny as it was to wait for the results of an STD test, we weren't shocked when his tests came back clear.  

I can't tell you all the tests that were ordered, (because frankly, it was a lot) but I can tell you the tests of mine, where I missed the mark.  The tests I came back low on were my thyroid (TSH) level and my vitamin D level.

A simple fix was ordered, I was prescribed a low dose of Levothyroxine for my thyroid (re-checked in 6 weeks) and was asked to pick up some vitamin D pills to get me into optimal range.

January 2023

My thyroid levels had come down into "normal" range, but not the optimal range for pregnancy.  A higher dose of Levothyroxine was prescribed and I was told to sit tight for another 6 weeks to be retested.

February 2023

Although nothing related to fertility happened in February, a lot happened in our personal life.  Our third child became engaged, with a wedding date in June, we signed on a new construction home, that would be about 10-12 months out, and my oldest daughter, her husband, and two children would be moving back to Arizona!  There is a reason I'm sharing all of this...hold tight

March 2023

My thyroid levels were retested in March and my results were finally within optimal range for pregnancy!  Now there was some additional legal paperwork that needed to be completed by my sister and her husband, but once this had been completed, they were ready for me to tell them when my next cycle started.

April 2023

I celebrated my 44th birthday, we put our home up for sale, and secured a rental home nearby so that we could move the majority of our things and so the house could remain empty for showings.  As if the stress of moving wasn't enough, I also received a job offer that I couldn't refuse and accepted to begin in May. (Put this together with the prior February details...starting to get the picture?)

So now, I'm still waiting for the all clear from the fertility clinic and waiting for my cycle to begin...crickets.  Nothing.  You know, I should be jumping for joy...but of course, all I'm thinking is great, I'm going to be the reason this is getting pushed back even further!  So apparently large amounts of stress does things to us...it not only impacts our moods and appetites, it wreaks havoc on cycles too!  So no cycle in April.

May 2023

I reach out to the fertility clinic and they relay they have what they need to move forward and ask me to let them know when I start my next cycle.  They told me once I start, I will be prescribed birth control for 10 days to put me on a cycle that will work for them.  Well...at this point, I'm thinking what if I don't ever have a cycle again?  I'm not willing to take that chance, soooo I tell a little fib.  I decide that my cycle has started, I mean, it still could...but I tell them it did.  Three days after I start my fictitious cycle, I started birth control.  I took the pills as prescribed for the 10 days, just like I was asked and ended taking them on May 28th.

June 2023

Okay it's been a very long while since I've taken birth control (husband had a vasectomy after the conception of our sixth child) so my memory is a little fuzzy about when you're supposed to start your cycle after missing a pill, but I thought it was within 2-3 days.  So I wait, day 1, day 2, day 3,...finally on day 7 of being off of the pill...my cycle actually starts!  

It was a Sunday, so wasn't able to contact the fertility clinic until Monday. Well you would think that none of them would be surprised that this was happening.  I mean after all, they had no clue that I'd missed basically two months of cycling and they are the ones who told me when to stop taking the birth control, so if anything they should be waiting for my call, right? Well, not the case...somehow they missed prescribing me the estrogen tablets that I would be required to take on cycle day 2 (which was now)! So there was a mad scramble to send pills to my pharmacy...which of course didn't have them in!  So I had to pharmacy shop until I found them in stock.  (Check out the pharmacy post, if you'd like to hear more details!)

We are almost getting to present time!  So let's take a moment to recap....It's now June 5th, over a year since this journey began.  I am having the mother of all cycles, running around trying to secure my prescription of estrogen, and my daughter is getting sealed in the Phoenix LDS temple on Friday, June 9th and having a ring ceremony/reception on Saturday, June 10th! Lots of fun details to attend to!

Well I'm excited to share what transpires over the next few weeks/months with you...I'm very long winded, but if you're interested in what's going on...stay tuned for more!

Summer